Husband n wife

**Degrian** · 06-12-2010 03:39 PM

WIFE VS HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word .

An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position .

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws

W O R D S

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day . . . 30,000 to a man's 15,000 .
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men . . .
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

~CREATION~
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time .

" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain .

God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

**Shaboo** · 06-12-2010 08:46 PM

God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

...

A woman was complaining to the neighbour that her husband always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him.

"Take my advice," said the neighbour, "and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o'clock in the morning, and from my bed I called out: "Is that you, Jim?" And that cured him.

"Cured him !" asked the woman, "but how?" The neighbour said, "You see, his name is Bill."

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

** Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

**Degrian** · 06-14-2010 05:01 PM

WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning . The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee . "
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee . "
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee . "
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me . "
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says . . . . . . . . . . "HEBREWS"

The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment . Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight .
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM . " He left it where he knew she would find it .
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight . Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed . The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM . Wake up . "
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests .